Fall 2004:Social Stories

Oh, Lordy it was a hot, hot summer here in Colorado! I (Mouse) was telling Tracy that all I want to do is go play at the Jersey shore. She said she would rather go to Martha’s Vineyard! So we compromised and took a walk with one of our 4-year-old clients to Cherry Creek...

This little guy just adores water. No sooner had he seen the creek than he was in it: shoes, socks, shirt and shorts. Oh, and a diaper... boy, did that thing weigh a ton by the time we finished! But what a great therapy session. We played silly games—taking turns, stimulating language, working on motor skills—all while romping in the creek. Later that week, we took a small group of boys on a “Hunt” at the park.

The kids had a picture list of three things to find. When we finished up, we played “Red Light, Green Light.” In the midst of our busy clinical lives, we often forget that such simple games can be so rich and stimulating.

As for the home programming aspect, what could be better than asking parents to play simple games from their childhood with their children?

Parents are their child’s first and favorite playmate. Whether you copy each other’s funny faces, play pat-a-cake or build a tower to the stars, when you play with your child you not only support her ability to learn, think, problem-solve and explore, but you also strengthen your relationship with her. As parents of a child with FXS, much of your time is taken going to therapy sessions and conducting home programs, in addition to the typical time you spend parenting. As children begin to test limits and assert their independence, more of the time they spend with their parents involves discipline, limit-setting and disagreements. That’s why it’s important to set aside time to play together, laugh, enjoy each other’s company, abandon limits and expectations, and create positive, fun moments with your child.

In this Coffee Talk we will provide some simple principles and games to help make the most of play time with your child. Our goal is to help bring out the best in your child and your relationship. The three principles below are modified from the Invest in Kids website (www.investinkids.ca).

1. Let your child take the lead in play. Although it’s not always easy, try to resist the temptation to take over her play and make it “better.” It is important to her self-esteem and independence that she is the one calling the shots. So take a backseat and let your child tell you how she wants you to contribute to the play. Imitating your child’s actions, such as building the same sort of castle as hers, is also a good way to participate. It tells her that you think her ideas are so good that you want to copy them.

2. When you play with your child, bring yourself down to his level. If he’s playing on the floor, that’s where you should be, too. If he wants to dress up as a dragon or get himself gooey with fingerpaints, play along. Let him see that you are willing to be right there with him and do what is important to him, which sends him the message that he is important to you.

3. Have fun! That's what play is all about—exploring, discovering, laughing and sharing experiences with your child. When you can see the world through his eyes, you'll want to stay there for as long as you can. Now for some of our favorite games. They are fun, and full of learning opportunities as well! Enjoy. Quaker Meeting: Begin by having the “It” person say, “Quaker Meeting has begun, no more laughing, no more fun. If you dare to crack a smile, you may have to walk a mile.” Then “It” makes funny faces, or sounds, or tells jokes or does anything except touch a member of the family, to get someone to laugh. The first person to laugh is the next “It.”

Poor Kitty: The family is arranged in a circle, sitting down. The “It” is the “poor kitty” and he goes up to another child purring and meowing. The person approached must pat the kitty on the head and say, “Poor, poor kitty.” If the child laughs, then he must become the kitty and try to make others laugh.

Doggy, Doggy, Where's Your Bone?: An eraser or another object or a paper cut out in a bone shape is designated as the dog bone. Pick a child (perhaps with a quick contest to determine who can emit the “most real-sounding” bark) to be the “dog.” The dog begins by sitting down, with a bone placed under the chair. With the dog’s eyes closed, someone sneaks up to “steal” the bone and hide it somewhere on his own person. Then everyone sings: “Doggy, Doggy, where's your bone? Somebody’s stole it from your home. Guess who, it might be you!” Then the dog has three chances to guess who took it. If the dog guesses right, he gets another turn as dog; if he guesses wrong then the person who stole the bone becomes the dog.

Red Light/Green Light: In this game, one person plays the “stop light” and the rest try to touch him/her. At the start, all the children form a line about 15 feet away from the stop light. The stop light faces away from the line of kids and says, “green light!” At this point the kids are allowed to move towards the stoplight.

At any point, the stop light may say “red light!” and turn around. If any of the kids are caught moving after this has occurred, they go back to the start line. Play resumes when the stop light turns back around and says “green light.” The first player to touch the stop light wins the game and earns the right to be “stop light” for the next game. Mother May I: One person (it could be Mom) stands facing away from a line of kids. She then chooses a child (at random, or in order), and announces a direction. These follow a pattern, such as, “Brian, you may take ‘x’ giant/regular/baby steps forward/backward.” The child responds with “Mother may I?” Mom then states “Yes” or “No,” depending on her whim, and the child complies. If the child forgets to ask “Mother may I?” he/she goes back to the starting line. First one to touch Mother wins.

A variation has the mother saying, “Take_____ steps [always] forward. And each child in turn would reply, “Mother, may I?” Then, Mother tells each child whether they could or couldn’t.

Some additional variations:

Scissors step: Jump while crossing your feet, then jump while uncrossing them.

Banana step: Laying down with feet at current spot, marking where the top of your head was, and getting up there for new spot.

Bunny step: Yes, this means hopping like a bunny. I Spy: One person says, “I spy with my little eye, something that is ... (color).” Then others try to guess what the object is. The one who guesses correctly takes the next turn. Sleeping Lions: In this game, all family members (except one hunter) lie down on the floor in sleeping positions. Once they are settled, they are not allowed to move. The hunter walks through the room and tries to make the sleeping lions move by making them laugh, telling them jokes, and so on. The hunters are not allowed to touch the lions. Once the lions have moved, they get up and join the hunters until everyone is a hunter.

Blanket Toss: Equipment: Blanket and a balloon or two (or three…) All players should be standing around the blanket holding an edge. The leader of the game will launch a balloon onto the blanket. The object of the game is to catch the balloons in the blanket and keep them there while keeping the blanket moving the whole time. You can do this with heavier koosh balls, or outside with water balloons. End this game by transitioning into the next game:

Blanket Stand: Spread out blanket; whole group must get on it so that no appendages are touching the ground off the blanket. If the group completes this, then have them all get off and fold blanket in half. Now all fit on again. Repeat the above process for getting the blanket as small as possible.